Blended Orgasms and How to Give Her One
Blended Orgasms and How to Give Her One (And How to Blow Your Partner’s Mind With One)
You think you’re pretty good at sex, huh? You know that size is less important than technique, that energy and enthusiasm count for a lot, where the clitoris is, how to give head and how to give her an orgasm.
But do you know how to give her a blended orgasm?
Blended orgasms are neither mythical nor mystical — they’re simple, straightforward and you can achieve them fairly easily if you know what they are and how they work. They’re also an incredible sensation, and adding the ability to give your partner a blended orgasm to your sexual toolbox can help take you from a good lover to a great one.
1. What Is a Blended Orgasm?
“A blended orgasm often refers to an orgasm that results from stimulation of multiple pathways at the same time,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the “@SexWithDrJess” podcast.
Sex educator Kenneth Play breaks that down in concrete terms: “Simply put, a blended orgasm is when clitoral stimulation is combined with internal vaginal stimulation to bring your partner to orgasm.”
Splitting your attention between both the clitoris and G-spot allows for a more intense pleasure to grow into that explosive “O.”
“Blended orgasms tend to be much more intense than clitoral or G-spot orgasms on their own,” notes Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackAndJillAdult.com. “Pleasure is felt in multiple areas at once — externally through the clitoris and internally through the G-spot.”
Not only does that mean more and more varied pleasure, it’s also potentially easier to achieve than attempting an orgasm by vaginal penetration alone.
“Research from OMGYes says that while only 18 percent of women can orgasm from penetration alone, 73 percent can orgasm from penetration combined with clitoral stimulation,” says Play. “Clitoral orgasms can be considered the more reliable orgasm and stimulation, but we also know that G-spot orgasms access the internal clitoral structure via the bulbs, and other internal orgasms are possible and can be immensely pleasurable too.”
However, the specific why of what makes blended orgasms so powerful isn’t 100 percent clear yet.
“For some women, their clitoris is much more sensitive and so feels pleasure on a surface level,” notes Lords. “For women who enjoy G-spot stimulation, this may be reported as a deeper or slower building pleasure. When a blended orgasm occurs, it can feel like it’s exploding out of the body in all directions.”
In more immediate terms, that means your partner will be feeling different types of pleasure, and in different places in the body.
“Some people report feeling tingling through their arms and legs,” she adds. “Some people feel their muscles clench — not just in their vulva and vagina, but also their stomach. Blended orgasms tend to be full-body orgasms.”
2. How Do You Give Someone a Blended Orgasm?
Learn to Multitask
If you’re trying to give someone a blended orgasm, you need to be able to multitask. You’re attempting to stimulate the clitoris and G-spot at the same time which, if you’re not used to, might not feel super natural at first.
Luckily, there are a host of different ways to do that, using a combination of your fingers, your penis or even sex toys. Alternately, your partner can join in, for instance, by taking over clitoral stimulation while you focus on the G-spot.
If one method feels difficult or just not terribly sexy, keep experimenting! Trying different variations of the above will give you a sense of what’s easiest, and you’ll get a chance to see what works best for you (and your partner) both in terms of what’s most comfortable and in terms of what’s most pleasurable.
Perhaps the most important part of improving at any sex act is communication with your partner. What works for one person might feel terrible for another; what’s exciting for one may freak out or bore the next.
“Listen to their direction on what feels good,” says Lords. “The clitoris may need different kinds of stimulation than the G-spot.”
Rather than acting confident and making assumptions, ask what feels good, what you can improve at and be open to critical or constructive feedback. Having a few conversations about it in the early going, even if they’re a little bit awkward, can make for much more successful attempts later on.
Just because you’re stimulating two different parts of the body doesn’t mean you get to go half as hard on each. Bringing your partner to a blended orgasm will require similar amounts of focus and determination you bring to an orgasm focusing on just one erogenous zone.
“I talk about consistency a lot, but it is especially crucial for blended orgasms,” says Play. “Consistent stimulation of the clitoris in exactly the spot/speed/pressure that your partner loves. And consistent internal stimulation after you calibrate to the right location and pressure to reach the pleasure threshold there. You’re consistently building up pleasure in all the spots.”
Many guys aren’t as big fans of lube as they should be. There’s an assumption, perhaps, that a real man will get his partners wet enough that there won’t be a need for any.
That’s bunk, however — for starters, some people naturally produce more lubricant than others, and various factors can greatly impact someone’s ability to get wet from one sexual encounter to another, especially if you’re having a lot over a short period of time. For that reason, having a good lubricant in the mix is crucial.
“Add plenty of lube,” advises Lords. “The wetter, the better. This helps fingers and toys glide across the clit more easily and helps make penetration more comfortable.”
Add in Some Toys
That sense of caution around lube ratchets up to a full-blown dislike of sex toys for many guys. Our recommendation? Leave those insecurities at the door.
“If the point of giving your partner a blended orgasm is so they’ll feel amazing, don’t be intimated by sex toys,” says Lords. “Certain products can provide both external and internal stimulation, giving your hand a break. And in some cases, you can use a dildo or vibrator for penetration while your tongue or fingers work the clit.”